The Mental Game of Prospecting
The key to prospecting is all about generating high quality referrals – this means asking for them on a consistent basis.
However, most reps only ask for referrals in some of their meetings. First, they “feel” out the meeting to see if there is a positive connection.
Then, based on how they are feeling, how the meeting is going and the odds of being exposed to social rejection, they determine whether or not to ask for the referral.
When they forgo asking for the referral, it’s attributed to reasons such as:
“I don’t know enough yet.”
“I don’t deserve referrals.”
“I haven’t added value yet.”
“I feel my clients would be doing me a favor.”
These attitudes are disempowering and will defeat you before you even get started.
It’s critical to your success to rise above this self-defeatist mentality and replace it with an empowered mindset. There are three keys to the empowered mindset.
You Always Operate From Honesty and Integrity
The first key is your own honesty and integrity. The second you walk into the room with your clients, you have to leave your own needs at the door.
It is not about meeting your quarterly goals or qualifying for your next incentive contest. It’s about having a genuine and insatiable appetite to help better your clients’ lives.
When you approach your clients from this mentality, they can feel it. It’s incredibly attractive and it makes it far easier to ask for the referral.
You Bring Tremendous Value in Your Questions
Financial planning is not a logical business.
It’s not as if you can take a fact finder and your clients instantly realize that they need to save more money, increase their life insurance and fund a 529 plan for their children’s education.
These steps often make all the logical sense in the world, but we are not in a logical business.
Therefore, the second part of the empowered mindset is realizing that you bring tremendous value to your clients simply in the questions you ask.
This means going beyond asking for their name, date of birth, income, and assets and filling out the fact finder.
Instead, it requires authentic, thought-provoking questions, being 100% present in your meeting and truly listening to their answers.
While I challenge you to come up with your own, one question that I used in my fact finding process was, “In your early years, what did you learn about money from your Mom and Dad?”
After I’d ask the question, I’d stop, listen and ask clarifying questions. This created a new and powerful experience. Simply by asking this question, you are providing your prospect an opportunity to think through their answer and how it impacted their lives.
And that’s just one question – by the time you finish a fact finder, you’ve hopefully asked 10 more just like it. And that brings tremendous value.
A Referral is a Gift to the People my Clients Care About
"A real referral is when someone introduces someone they care about to someone they trust."
You must believe that your client’s referral to you is an enormous opportunity for them to impact the people they care about. It is not a favor to you.
We all have experienced moments when someone arrives in our lives and has dramatically altered the course of it for the better. This is your client’s chance to have that effect.
They should carefully think through the most important people to refer to you. And when they do introduce you to someone they deeply care about, you can take comfort in knowing that you will give them your absolute best.
This mindset is a dramatic contrast from the negative thoughts of:
“I know you’re not going to want to do this… I’m really worried about asking you for the referral because I haven’t sold you anything.”
“I’m nervous that if I ask you for a referral, maybe you’ll be so turned off by it that you won’t want to work with me going forward.”
“I know this business has a bad stereotype, but please just give me a chance. Maybe after a few years they’ll grow to trust and like me…”
Embracing Your Empowered Mindset
We all have the empowered mindset some percentage of the time. But, when a prospect hangs up on you, someone doesn’t take your advice or you miss your goals, it’s really easy to get into a negative mindset. Conversely, when everything is going right, an empowered mindset comes naturally.
Your challenge is to work towards more consistently living with an empowered mindset, regardless of your day-to-day experiences. Reflect on the three keys to this mindset and remind yourself of them before your meetings.
Most importantly, act on it! Make a commitment to consistently ask for the referral, with the goal of doing it every time. Action is the best way to reinforce your beliefs and is what will allow you to reach your full potential.
